Press the shift button

I am happy that I injured my knee, because god has changed me.

 

God taught me patience.

Not only with Lulu, but with myself. At some point I was frustrated with the recovery, I allowed tears. But I made sure the moment passes and fades. No drama Briana.

 

God taught me obedience.

Listen, surrender and follow, without questioning or bargaining. In other words, do all things I hate with full commitment. I didn’t use the injury as an excuse to lose my temper with my mum.

 

God taught me empathy.

I shared in my previous entry, me experiencing the disabled. Also, I cried reading Haiti reports. I cried listening to the international reporter talk about our broken world. Destitution, war, oppression, injustice and more. Their pain is etched into my soul, echoing with my humanity that is long & deep buried under my superficiality and vanity.

 

God taught me appreciation.

I am loving all small things, like limping to the market with my mum to tapau Durian. I enjoy drinking smoothies and eating berries in the morning; sipping Earl Grey tea along with Malay Kuihs in the afternoon and eating simple dinner with my mum outside our balcony bench in the evening. These are pleasures out of nothing, we are living like Romans, lol.

 

God gave me new insights.

If you don’t know what’s happening to our world. You are like the old Briana. It is called stupidity, and stupidity is a murderer.  It creates a false sense that you know enough, and you won’t realise it until you’re in your death bed, wondering what have you accomplished in life.

 

If you shake off the uneasiness and continue with life after a good glimpse of our wounded world. You are like the old Briana. And that is called running away, forgetting your responsibilities to this world which needs your help.

 

If you re-affirm yourself with that poisonous thing called “ignorance is bliss” after a good glimpse of our wounded world. You are like the old Briana. And that is called selfishness, you put our world at risk when you refuse to recognize the problem, just because you’re afraid of the pain that comes with recognition.

 

I now know, that there is more out there, outside my small circle of life.

I do not want to be stupid or selfish or ignorant. If all of us can change ourselves, we would have changed the world already.

 

God taught me to be still.

Initially, days were a murky gloom, claustrophobic even. I felt very alone. But then, as I sit in quietness and listen, I am enlightened. I am alone but not lonely. When you can’t do anything, you begin to think about the things you really want to do. I am now blissfully reading all the books that had been on my list for the longest time. I am also happy planning my visits to places I swear I’ll go.

 

I believe with all my heart that Lulu is a blessing in disguise. God says ‘I wound and I heal’ and he said ‘not to worry’. As I surrender myself, god has again marvelled me with his perfect planning.

During my journey to recovery, I will have to sit and be quiet. He then opened my eyes & showed me important things in life. Every thing makes perfect sense as I watch the events around me unfold. I fall and I learn. I am so inspired for the past 5 weeks. I am more sure than ever of the things I want to do in life.  Now that I am beginning to walk, I pray for his guidance. To bless me, so that I will be able to do more, to bless me, so that I will be able to love him as he deserves to be loved. Last but not least, let your will be done on earth as in heaven Father, Amen.

 

*photo by supermalade, my camera memory card is currently affected by virus.