Saw

It was raining the whole of today, it was cold the whole of today.

I can feel that gap, that growing gap, that gap whose presence I first felt a month ago. I am stretched across the ocean, in between two lands. What I am now is not me, but I can’t push away the growing sense of familiarity. What I was is the closest I’ve felt to being me, but I can’t pull it in anymore, the paling, fading, wandering ghost they say you keep in drawers.

Mami says part of growing up is kissing beautiful things goodbye. I think they only become beautiful when you know there’s no going back. I’m learning to see in Nino, what I did not see in Bree. Good night xx.