Whirling colours, pretty flowers

 

I wonder if you felt like me before.

Listening to the one song over a certain period of time.

Then, a year later, that song is accidentally played, and the things that happened during that period of time mentioned starts flashing in your mind.

 

Like how BEP’s Boom Boom Pow will always remind me of Sports Day 2009.

Because that was the hit song then, and we people who was in charge of decoration heard it day and night on the radio as we worked our butts off.

 

I’m not lying. I remember.

The exact shade of green.

The stacked tables and chairs.

The piling bottles and cans.

The smell of the decoration room.

I remember everyone and the things they did.

I remember the things I said and they way I feel.

 

Vivid.

That is the correct word to describe the memories that prances in my brain when I listen to old songs. I am reminded of things.

 

I cannot sleep tonight, I spent 5 hours twisting and turning in bed.

And I’ll tell you why.

Because I plugged in my music player.

I listened to all the songs I haven’t heard for a long time.

And all that has happened starts flashing before my eyes, sort of like the thing people see before they die, you know? Snippets of what happened, flying through, disturbing yet not leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind.

 

It’s like a summary, a trailer of all that I’ve gone through, good things, bad things, and things that are just there just because they happened.

 

They make me sentimental.

Which comes back to what I repeat to myself all the time, that this is just part of life.

 

That things just happen, and we eventually move on.

Because time erases things, leaving only memories as traces.

Because no matter what road we choose in junctions, there is no turning back.

We all keep walking. Because we always have hopes for the better.

I also realise that nothing is constant or forever, except for love.

And love is God.

 

What I thought was the biggest drama then means nothing now. Insignificant.

I feel consoled realizing how much different I am today, in a good way.

We have all grown and became better people.

Or at least, we have become wiser learning from our mistakes.

 

Which is why my new resolution is not to judge people, especially for their past.

People do change, they just need a chance.

Very often, chance is not given because we label them, we fall when we judge.

 

Oh well, tonight is a long night.

I will go hunt for some new songs tomorrow.

After all, I cannot listen to old songs every single night, because among the songs I am reminded of my past insecurities and depressions.

I am also reminded of the low point of my life.

 

And even though I know it is behind me, I don’t think I want to deal with it.

Not now.

Not forever.