fading smiles and broken heels

Went over to friend's place today.

Friend was like my diary. Always there always understanding, reads me like a book. But I left that diary in a wooden crate under my bed. And now when I tug it out, it is dusty, worn and falling into pieces. I realise I could no longer write in this very very precious diary of mine, my fingers forgot it's strength.

I was angry at friend for moving on. But I was later disappointed at myself, I left the diary under the bed, I abandoned friend, I have no one to blame but myself.

The date I made with friend was suppose to be a bonding session. It ended up like one of those mundane gathering dinners. We have no conversation, no topic except for good ol' times. And more disappointment that the friendship did not work out, they gave me mood swings and more talk back to my mum, who came back from a stressful day of work.

It happened today.