I would like to think I'm esoteric but nah, I know I'm an average. That doesn't make me melancholy, No. You should hear Mabel at oral today. Someone questioned her. Asking her what would make her truly happy? She said as long as she can sleep well, eat well, lead a well life, ordinary doesn't sound so bad. But you've heard stories about how this big whirpool sucks you in and spits you out.
Know what you are made off, understand your limits, don't push it. An act of bravado is not wise, you might get lost in the facade of you being super. People like us, standing outside of the masquerade, sees things clearly, believe me, IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, even more stuuuupid, when you act brilliant.
I know I don't have the right to judge. But, I was once too lost in the party, beautiful lights and mellifluos music. It's attractive of course. I've learnt to not look pathethic, and also, proud to admit what I'm made of. A partycrasher without an invitation, you don't belong here, why do you stay? It is much comfortable in your own world, where you truly belong. And when you truly shine, you'll have your chance, but by that time, I'm sure you've seen through it. It isn't as important as you think it was, serious. Instead of a weary soul, caged in by tight corsets and hidden by beautiful masks, i rather spend my life peacefully at my own plain hut.
If I was Mabel, I would tell you, life is painful and short. We spend to much time suffering. Things come and things go, there's nothing as a second chance because that would be a second chance and not the first try. I've learn to be grateful for what I owned. I'm undoubtly a lucky ass. I have nothing to worry about so I often magnify my problems to pass time. It's a hallucination that my life is actually more interesting that way. But I found a reason now, everyday waking up, breathing, feeling alive, where I can still see, hear, touch, feel is precious and it'a miracle. I even enjoy the pains of going to school. I now enjoy life with a different point of view, appreciating things I've never noticed. Life is a box of chocolate, someone said. Yes, they won't always be bitter chocolates, but don't always expect sweetones. Because when each and everyone of them is sweet, none of them are anymoreeeeee. Try to savour the bitter ones, even harder for the sweet ones. You'll never get the same piece of chocolate again.
Before I go, I would like to say I love my cousin Teresa & Angeline. They mean alot more than I realise. And although my mum didn't give me any siblings, god blessed me with two wonderful cousins that love me more than anything else. (:
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